Moms… Don’t Live in Fear

Dear Moms… don't live in fear. Easier said than done, right?

Sometimes, I worry so much that my stomach hurts. Did they remember their spelling words?  Did they get to school safely?   Are they having fun at their friend's house?   Can they play outside without me?   Are they old enough to stay home alone?   It's easy to get caught up in this… I certainly do, but today we want to talk about how to NOT live in fear about bad things happening to our kids.

• As your mind wanders to what if…  stop and turn it back to the good.  It will take some practice, but during my training to become a therapist, this was a technique that we learned.  You have to literally picture the 'worry' coming into your mind and you have to picture yourself stopping it from coming in.   Replace it with a fun memory.
• Focus on the good memories that your family could have.  I just watched the movie, The Croods, with our kids, and the whole movie is about how they finally decide to leave their safety nest (their cave) to get out and explore the world.   In the end, they find a paradise.  While it is a kid movie, it spoke to me for this very reason: let them get out and explore the world a little more. (talking to myself! haha!) 
• You can't control it.  You truly can't.  We can't control those things that happen and though we may try, most times we will fail.  We need to believe that we have given them the tools to succeed in whatever task they are doing without our fear holding them (or us) back.
• Choose to focus on the GOOD.   Think of the great things that will happen if you let your toddler walk without holding your hand.   Yes, she may fall, but she will learn why she feel and she will learn how to stop herself with her hands when it does happen.
• If you are truly a worrier, you may find it best to talk to someone.   Find someone that you can confide in and talk to them.  Many times just talking things out can help you move through the worries and anxiety.
• Get a journal and write down 10 positive thoughts: These could be quotes, scripture, or reminders of truth about life. When you feel anxious about your child, read through these.   Do this every single Monday.  Go back through and read last weeks & this weeks.
• Stop your worries in their tracks and focus on what is happening right now. Remind yourself to take life one moment at a time.  One day at a time.
• Practice meditation and mindfulness.  There is a great app called Head Space that is for this purpose.  It's worth a shot!
• Take a walk outside, do a calming activity, or sit in the sun.
• Know that you are not alone. Many parents worry about their kids, but the point is that you cannot live consumed by worry. You have to learn to move past it so you are not living in the future what ifs.
• Start a gratitude journal or notebook. Every day write down five things you are grateful for. Focusing on what you are grateful for, will help turn your eyes off of worry.  I read a quote, just today, that said "I don't have time to worry… I'm too busy keeping up with my blessings!"
• Get specific about your worries. Write them down if you need to, then next to each worry right the truth beside it.
• Ask yourself: what is the WORST that can happen.  Then… ask yourself how likely that is to actually happen and what would be done about it.
• Find practical solutions.  We got our son the Gizmo watch with a GPS so we could track him, text him or call him.  It's perfect when he is outside with his friends.Remember to keep the friends that you want to encourage you.   Are your friends feeding into your anxiety or encouraging you to be strong?  My dear friend told me once that she had to let go of her worry while her baby napped because she would never be a good mom if she didn't sleep (due to worry).  She said when she let that go & turned off her video alarm at night, her whole life changed.  One simple solution changed so much for her. Who are you surrounding yourself with? Are they people who feed your anxiety or people who encourage you?

 

How can you stop the worry?  How can you stop living in fear?  We'd love to hear your ideas over on our Facebook page, where we share tips with other parents daily.

 

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