This is my new favorite bedtime routine with my children. It works as well for me as it does for them and I couldn't be more surprised just how much difference it has made.
More than any of the other practices, this develops emotional regulation, safety, kindness and connection. It helps children wind down before bedtime and settle into a state of calm before drifting off. It is a practice I learned from our interview with Christine Carter. The downloadable audio of Christine leading the practice is free on signup for our newsletter at Mindfulness4Mothers.
What I want to tell you…. before you rush off to get the audio….. is how gentle, calm and infused with positive emotion my children's transition to sleep has become.
Calm Bedtime Routine
They have always enjoyed a bedtime story and a little chat about whatever is on their mind. But now we also have a few moments of sending ourselves and others wishes for happiness, strength, health and peace as they settle down into readiness for sleep. Even I now leave their room with a small smile on my face and feelings of contentment and connection. It's lovely, and something I look forward to sharing with them, no matter what the day has been like!
It has demonstrated again how easily we can all access the benefits of mindfulness. Particularly when we come to it through kindness rather than through setting ourselves the strict "goal" of becoming more mindful.
You recite each of the following lines….. slowly….. asking your children to silently repeat them in their minds:
As you settle in to your bed, think of yourself and send yourself these wishes:
May I be happy
May I be healthy and strong
May I live with ease
Now, think of someone who has been kind to you today, and when you have someone in mind, send them these wishes:
May you be happy
May you be healthy and strong
May you live with ease
You go on to send these wishes to:
- family and friends;
- someone you don't know well;
- someone you have difficulty with and then finally
- all the people you know and don't know in the "whole world".
Although the last line of Christine's version of this practice is "may I live with ease." My girls misheard that the first night as "live in peace" so I decided to just go with that. You too can change any words that might be a better fit for you — or do it exactly the way Christine does.
I encourage you to give this a try for a few weeks and see if you too become a fan of the difference it makes.
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